This morning, while on my way to work, I walked past a Channel 7 news van. Just off to the side of the van, a reporter was doing an on-camera interview of a police officer. I stopped and watched quietly as the woman asked the officer questions about some specific police activity. The officer gave standard, if a bit non-responsive, answers. The whole exchange made me smile.

I realized in that moment that I miss being a journalist. It was bittersweet.

I love writing, and teaching writing, and am happy in my current gig. It’s steady work that allows me to pass on my skills to others. But seeing that newsperson working reminded me that as much as I enjoy teaching, it’s not what I really want to do. I want to be out interviewing people for stories. I want to chase leads and get the quote. I want to have story deadlines.

I miss having a byline.

Seeing the newsperson today was sort of like a wake-up call. It let me know that even though I’m using my writing ability, I’m not using it as fully as I could be. I think this is something all people who aren’t doing what they really want go through. That sense that they are out of place. It’s moments like this that make you question yourself and what you’re doing.

It’s a gut check for me. Am I doing what I want to be doing? Am I where I want to be? Am I making use of my skills? Am I happy? If those questions can be answered in the affirmative then I’m all right. As it stands now, I’m about 50/50. Not awesome, but not terrible either.

I don’t think it’s too much of an issue for me. Yes, I’m not working as a journalist, but I’m still writing. That’s enough for me, for now.