The saga continues.

Creative Writer: Hershey

So this is all well and good, even delicious, except the job title is completely misleading. It says creative writer, but what they really mean is marketing director.  They want someone to write email copy, radio scripts, and taglines for ad campaigns. They say “You’ll also serve as a director on our TV, radio, and video projects, ensuring that our brands and creative vision are represented in our growing multimedia portfolio.”  That’s marketing right there.  I don’t know a whole lot about marketing, but I think this job post would be somewhere along the lines of false advertising…

Not to mention this offensive little nugget: “As one of the key creatives in our Marketing group, we’ll look to you for great ideas on a regular basis and we’ll expect excellence. It’s an amazing job that requires an equally amazing person.”

Creatives?  Come on.  I mean, I get the idea–you’re trying to sound cool and not say “creative people,” but in the end it just looks like a typo.  And that second sentence?  What, are we in fourth grade here?  Just because we’re dealing with selling candy?  Come on.

Medical Agency Copywriter

Let me draw your attention to this bit: “Our client offers amazing benefits and a great opportunity for growth. You will also be getting to work with a great bunch of people! Who could ask for anything more? So if you are as excited as we are about this opportunity please send your resume and link to your portfolio to START the process. TAKE ACTION! Why wait another day? It is time to act! Apply NOW and join the team TODAY!!!”

Good lord.  Where do I begin?

Well for starters, judging by the difference in the number of exclamation points, I am definitely not as excited as they are about this position.

Also, why is “start” in all caps?  Why are you emphasizing that word?  If you stressed that word in conversation, you’d just sound LIKE an idiot.  For a position as technical as medical writing, I expected more professionalism in the job post.

And as for the huge string of imperatives you end off with–come on.  Just one of those would do just fine.  Your overzealousness is actually a turn-off at this point.  I think I’ll just apply NEVER!!!

Come on.

I only have one to add to this list, but it’s a doozy…

Real Writing Jobs

I know I’ve expressed great disdain for different types of job posts in this space, so let me add one more type to that list. I hesitate to call this a job post because the way the company blasts you with information, none of which is about an actual job. Furthermore, this “post” has all the fixings to lure in desperate job seekers. Let’s break down all the craziness.

  • Random capitalization of WORDS in a sentence: check
  • Text bolding and different colored fonts: check
  • Testimonials from current users, who are from different races and walks of life: check
  • A one-time fee to join the company and start working: check

Wait, what? Yes, you read that correctly, there is a one-time fee to join the company to receive access to “THOUSANDS of available jobs!” If that weren’t enough, they even offer a writer’s took kit for free with membership, a value of “$3,780.”

Writer's Tool Kit (click to enlarge)

As a writer, phreelance or otherwise, does this offend you as much as it offends me? “Automatic Article Writer,” seriously? I’m a writer and a journalist, I know how to write an article. A “Novel Generator, ” an “Automatic Idea Generator” and “The Writer’s Best Friend!?!” I dare not say it, but I think this is cheating!

Call me old-fashioned, or even elitist, but you CANNOT call yourself a writer if you can’t come up with an idea on your own, write an article by yourself, or do some basic research on a word or topic! I’m sorry, you just can’t!

This isn’t a job post for writers, it’s for people who want to be writer but don’t want to put in the effort it takes to become good at the craft. If there is someone who gave these people money, please write something in the comment section.

I know people think writers are lazy, but COME ON!