PR Pros and Journalists Required for R&D of Industry Conferences.

Marcus Evans, I hate you. This type of job post is a mirage in the desert of the job market. It’s got flash and custom CSS such that a desperate, job-seeking freelance writer would be taken in and not even realize it’s an empty job post. Heck, I almost didn’t recognize it as a job post because it looks the the careers page of a different website. I hate the arrogance of a post like this, as if I’m so interested in who I’d be working for that I want to read a “Company Overview” before I read the job description. Come on! Just get to the position already, I don’t give a damn that you’re a fortune 1,000 company or employ over 3,000 “professionals” in 54 offices worldwide.

Beyond the bullet-point job facts (potential earning up to $45,000 in the first year) and idiotic technical jargon under “Job Description,” here’s the worst part: a history of using the telephone to get the job done

What the f#%@k does that mean? Is it possible to be any more vague?

Come on!

Web Copy Writer Needed

I could rail against this post for its successful attempt at vagueness. But if you look closely they actually tell you what to expect, just not how much they’re paying. I feel like this may be less of an issue with the company and more of one with Craigslist. I dare say with some help from a blogger/writer (like me or Gage), this post could be jazzed up with some easy graphics to attract more attention. As it is, it’ll just be a job post full of text that will never generate a second look.

Come on…

Heat Reporter Needed

After watching the Lebron James “decision” fiasco, there’s something a little ironic to me that the salary for this position is “negotiable.”  I’m tempted to send them my credentials and then tell them to call my agent (I’d just give them Dash’s number).  He’d tell them that what I want more than anything is to win the pulitzer, and Boston just won’t provide me with the tools I need to win it.  Then he’d tell them that I would only write for them if they signed me to a six year, four million dollar contract.  And when I have some writer’s block, I’m going to need some of the Heat cheering squad to come inspire me out of my slump.  If you want your readers to be looking at my blog before they read Lebron’s, it’s going to cost you.

Then they’d laugh in my face and be like, “Come on.”

Grant Writer for Helen Keller International

Job title and company aside, I’m just using this as a way to back up what Dash hit on earlier in his bit about salary.  Why on earth would you include a note about how much travel is required, but not tell us how much you’re paying?  Do you really think the deal breaker for me is how long I need to spend in the car or on an airplane?  Oh, and side note: why is that “required travel” figure in a percentage?  0 – 10% of what?   The year?  Or is it like a forecast, like, 0 – 10% chance of travel?

And here’s another job market apocalypse theory for you:

Every single grant writing job post that I’ve seen has required at least five years of experience.  Now, if people honor that requirement, that means that in about 30 years, the only people doing grant writing will be super old or retired, and eventually the profession will become extinct.  The demand for tons of experience is making it impossible for grant writers to pass their knowledge on to the next generation.  Come on!